Monday, June 30, 2008

Tobacco Companies rush to find New Markets

From the glory days of the the cigarette

to this kind of stuff going on all over the world, and with the jury starting to deliver its verdict, is it any wonder that this kind of stuff goes on.

British American Tobacco has been accused of trying to promote their products to young people in a number of African countries in manners inconsistent with their marketing policy. Who would have thought that they would provide dispensers to sell single cigarettes, promote rock concerts and paint shops the colour of their tobacco brands. We had no idea we hear the marketing manager say. Bullshit I say. What hypocrisy.

These are large profitable companies with large marketing budgets. Anything to get you hooked early. Why are these practices allowed in some countries at a time when cigarettes are being banned in others. Many of these countries have terrible health statistics and low life expectancy. Nothing like a cigarette addiction to add to that misery and to the bottom line of companies such as British American Tobacco

At least you will still be able to get high in Holland.

Not for me. I always felt sick after a puff from a joint. Tobacco always did that to me. A great deterrent.

Personally I like the ban in public places. I can remember my boss in Singapore was a chain smoker and you had to clear the air when you walked into his office. When we moved to the 32nd floor of Suntec City, which was a smoke free building, he was threatened with arrest when he lit up in his office on the weekend. Not much fun to be a smoker nowadays. That said, hooking young people in poorer countries to replace your shrinking market in more progressive countries seems very underhand.

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Real Life Second Life

This time you have to come up with real dollars as a Brit auctions his real life as a rug salesman in Australia.

After some earlier hoax bidding in the millions, he was pretty much down to the value of the physical assets ($399,000) when the bidding ended on Sunday. Seems we are worthless outside what we own.

How much would you pay for somebody's life? How much do you think that your life is worth?

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Lavinia broadens my Aussie Language Skills

"Ow Ewe" said a cheery Lavinia, the checkout girl at Woolworths yesterday. She was efficient in scanning through my stuff and then as I struggled with my plastic, apologising for being such a goober. "Nurries" said Lavinia with a good corporate smile.

I favour the latter over the former when it comes to what it means.

Onya Lavinia.

Hissy Pissy Billy in a Huffy Puffy Sulky Funk

Just don't do it in public.

What a thought.

Go and play with your toys until you feel better. Don't you want an Ambassadorship?

With the World Going to Hell...

it is good to know that we can dream of living in the land of the Ning Nang Nong.

Surely it will be better there?

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Photo Hunt: Bright

Ryan has a cool Secret Agent thing that has a radio, goggles and a bright light for seeing in the dark.

Way cool!

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Polygamy and Polyandry is it ever right

Keyser Trad, the former spokesman for the former Wacky Grand Mufti of Australia is pushing for polygamy to be recognised in Australia. I think that this is even less likely to fly than our friends above or of Brendan Nelsons chances of being the next Australian prime minister.

I am no philosopher, but I think that this will never fly in Australia. Although there are steps currently in place to redress some of the civil penalties relating to civil unions, both sides of politics have ruled out gay marriages in Australia. I doubt that polygamy would be higher on the political agenda than that.

What is clear is that there is an underground acceptance of polygamy by sections of the muslim community with religious ceremonies being conducted on the sly. This will likely continue, but is unlikely to be legitimised.

Conscious Earth, currently posting about a trip to Ladakh, where an acceptance of Polyandry is gradually diminishing. Call me naive, but I was not aware of that option. Why would a woman want to burden herself with two guys. Isn't one bad enough? Last week I couldn't figure out why the clothes were coming out of the washing machine all sopping wet. My wife matter of factly told me that it would be good if I pushed in the no spin button. I am pretty good at most domestic chores, but it is no good for my ego to have mechanical button pressing and interpretation humiliation. In a Polyandry situation I might be banished to the shed for a month.

Beautiful photographs in his article, regardless of the moral issues, which is reason enough to take a look.
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Friday, June 27, 2008

Wimbledon Tennis Update

Shorts are in vogue for women and you can turn the sound back on.

Smog on the Water?

Going green in Qindao is not environmentally friendly.

China has called in thousands of people to clean up an algal bloom at the sailing venue for this summer's Olympic Games, a state news agency said.

The blue-green algae blossomed around June 1 in the waters around Qingdao on the coast of Shandong province, and some 400 boats and 3,000 people have been mobilized to clean it up, the Xinhua News Agency said.

Chinese news photos showed the bright-green bloom along the shores of downtown Qingdao. Other images showed workers loading the algae onto boats as windsurfers sailed in the background. The photos also showed people wading in the water and scooping up armfuls of the plant-like organism and putting it into white sacks.

Blue-green algae blooms when nutrients, sometimes caused by excessive pollution, build up in water.

The country's three-decade economic boom has left its waterways and coastlines severely polluted by industrial and farm chemicals and domestic sewage.

No wind and an algal bloom don't make for great training for Olympic Sailors.

Based on my own experience, light wind sailing is about as exciting as watching the test card. At least it had music.
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South Australian Government to Buy Glastonbury Festival

In a bid to break the drought, the South Australian Government has made a bid to buy the Glastonbury Festival and move it to Adelaide.

The Premier, Mike Rann said that rain was so predictable at the festival that it could help to turn things around in South Australia, facing another summer of drought.

Martians eat Turnips?

Turnip manufacturers are fast at work trying to work out how to bring Martian turnips down to Earth.

Some Martian dirt has the same basic chemistry as garden soil, a new analysis from the Phoenix lander suggests. The find widens the range of organisms that might be able to live on Mars.
Personally I am curious whether they will find Mars Bars.

And the answer to the ultimate question. Is there water on Mars?

And is there life?

So many questions. I always intrigued by people who say that they want to go. Imagine a diet of turnips and asparagus. That would be a big chunk of you life sitting in a capsule eating packaged foods until your vegetables grew. Probably better to wait for time travel. Personally I would rather stay home and eat Mars Bars.

One of those radio chefs was on yesterday expounding the fantastic culinary benefits of turnips, beetroot and parsnips. I think that is a hard sell, with the major benefit being that they are in season and cheap. I would imagine that Martian Turnips would be a bit more expensive.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Orchid Blooming Season in Adelaide

Going to the Dentist

Going to the dentist is so nice compared to my memories of childhood. At that time it was considered normal to remove teeth on an annual basis. I have vivid memories of the smell of the gas and the injections, the drill and the feeling of sheer terror heading into the surgery. When the travelling dentist came to the school, some kids fainted with worry. I know that I had had numerous teeth removed and fillings completed by the time I was Hannah's age. Both sets of Grandparents had false teeth, which was a vivid reminder of how poor early 20th century Scottish oral hygiene practices and diet were. My mum was always giving her mum a row for giving us lollies when we saw her. She would take us for a walk and ply us with lollies.

Hannah and Ryan on the other hand are quite relaxed despite the evidence of the photograph from her trip to the dentist this week. The dentist reckons that her mouth is getting crowded. We are keen for her not to have teeth out. The last Orthodontist told us that current practice is to try to avoid removing teeth and to fix it later. So much advice. So much potential trauma. So much worry for Hannah.

Time for some humour to lighten things up from Pam Ayers

Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!

If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fillin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."

How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.,
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Good advice I think.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Guuschevchenko Hiddink goes into Hiding

After stuffing his countrymen in Euro 2008, former all Ozzie Guusssss has gone into hiding with a view to seeking asylum in the Oil Baron Football Republic of Russia.

No doubt the English will be chasing him now in their vain bid to win a football tournament after 40 years. This confirms his appeal to Sun Readers.

I never understood why they gave up on the Home International Championship. At least they could usually win a tournament that way. Not enough TV revenue to pay for those astronomical salaries I suppose.

It seems that the Celtic Cousins have seen the merits of that type of tournament.

Should we ban Genetically Modified Orgasms?

Who said the men only think about sex once a day?

I wonder what a genetically modified orgasm would be like anyway?

I love the spin at the end. Hard to explain that one away.

Doctors as Drug Spruikers?

A nice picture of Callander and a good Scottish joke to start this sad tale.

Dr Finlay Dr Finlay Ah've goat heartburn.
Get yer tit oot the porridge Janet.

I am surprised that this is even news.

Prominent doctors paid to speak by drug companies are "salespeople" employed to drive up prescription rates, an Australian investigative researcher claims.

A report in the latest British Medical Journal is heavily critical of the job of so-called "key opinion leaders" who are paid by pharmaceutical companies to give lectures and advice, or be involved in medical trials.

My brother and his wife are both in medical sales in the UK. I was surprised just how much information that they had on the doctors that they visited and the post visit behaviour by the doctors.

It is not surprising that if you take it one step further that there will be pay back if doctors are paid to endorse products. It is a cut throat business with many winners and losers.

A long way from the trusty GP from Tannochbrae. I note in the entry that it was actually filmed in Callander and Auchtermuchty, both places that I used to drive through regularly at different stages of my life. Callender on the way to skiing, hill walking, climbing, white water kayaking and drinking weekends on the west coast of Scotland. Auchtermuchty, on my many trips out of Cupar. Trivia Question of the Day. Where are the Proclaimers from? It begins with an A and ends with a Y.
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New Dog in the House

Imagine nominating your dog for an ugly dog competition. Even I think that is cruel. Gus with three legs and one eye, pictured here, ran (limped?) off with the title.

That said, I hasten to guess that your dog is not as ugly as these guys.

I got on to this because our neighbour had to go to hospital at short notice, so we have his little hairy thing for a week. Rufus spent most of yesterday annoying Spotty, trying to sniff his goolies. He is over that after the ever patient Spotty snapped at him a few times. I gave him a bath this morning and then he decided to chase the rabbits (Spotty ignores them). He was very busy under our deck for about half an hour. When he came out I had to give him a bath again. This afternoon he tried to escape and I had to chase him down the street. He was very keen to escape.

Anyway, I think one dog is enough and at least he is quiet and friendly.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Photo Hunt: Water

Water is useful for


Fishing and Hunting


Beach Going


Scenic Backgrounds

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Obama, Gay Drug Induced Sex and Kilt Wearing Attorneys

Obama Campaign forced to focus on the serious stuff.

Major issues of the week include accusations of gay drug induced sex by a dodgy wacko supported by a kilt wearing attorney and whether Michelle wears pantyhose.

He has what is called a colourful background: a 27-year criminal career which includes convictions for fraud, forging cheques, and stealing credit card numbers.

Sinclair was accompanied by his kilt-clad lawyer, Montgomery Blair Sibley. Sibley has had his own problems: a Florida court struck him off for vexatious litigation, most of it directed against his former wife.

"I don't mean to be impudent," said one reporter, "but why are you wearing a kilt?"

Sibley explained: "It has to do with genitalia. If you are on the smaller side, then pants are not uncomfortable."

Huh? I can confirm that kilts are very comfortable and there is plenty of room and lots of air flow.

And Michelle had to face probing personal questions on television.

After a few serious questions about her patriotism, they got down to real business: whether sleeveless dresses, favoured by Mrs Obama, are for everyone, and whether she wears pantyhose. Answer: pantyhose is uncomfortable if you are 1.8 metres tall.

Important stuff.

Can we just vote now?
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Friday, June 20, 2008

Smart Airse

My seven year old son Ryan has Show and Tell on Wednesday morning. When it was his turn he was asked if he had anything to share. He walked across to the telling chair, sat down and pulled some air out of his pocket telling them "Here's My Air".... Stunned silence.

The teacher used it as an opportunity for a science lesson.

I wonder if they are allowed to smoke cigars in Heaven

If so, he would be puffing away contentedly.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

You know you are from Adelaide if...

You meet people at the 'Malls Balls'

You consider 40 degrees to be a bit warm

You drink Farmer's Union Iced Coffee

You drink Coopers

And you know It's the best beer in the world

You've been to the brewery lights's

You've eaten a Balfour's frog cake

You know that a Berliner is something you eat

You like YoYo biscuits

You grew up on Fritz & sauce sangas

You know it's a 'yiros', not a 'kebab'

You can drink SA tap water without noticing any unpleasant flavours

You've been to the Pancake Kitchen (open 24 hours)

You call the corner store a 'deli'

You pronounce graph as 'grarph', plant as 'plarnt' and dance as 'darnce'

You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.

You went to school camps as the Red Shield Aquatics Camp in Victor Harbor

You know where 'Porta Gutta' is

You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).

You have been to Flashdance at HQ at least once

You've started the night on the East End then drunkly walked through Rundle Mall in the early hours to get to the West End (or vice versa)

You know that there's more than one way to have a good time on Hindley Street

Pints are the big beers

After a big night you've ended up at 'The Cas'

You've been to the museum on 5 different school excursion but never returned as an adult

You've been to the St. Kilda playground

You miss Magic Mountain at the bay

You know that 'the bay' is Glenelg

You would never swim at Glenelg because it's gross

You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburnt

You know the state floral and fauna emblem (but just in case it comes up at a quiz night)

You still call AAMI Stadium, ' Footy Park '.

You support the Crows/the Power

And you'd rather give up your first born than see the other team win the flag

You know the South Australians invited the checkside punt

You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt

You forgave the Chappells for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.

Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy

You've never watched NRL

You've been to the Christmas pageant as a child and as an adult

You've lined up for more than half an hour to see Santa at the Magic Cave

You've bought something from the pie cart

You know what a pie floater is

You've eaten a pie floater

You can't go out without seeing someone you know

You shop at Foodland

You have a Hills Hoist in your backyard

You know the Hills Hoist was invented in South Australia as was wine casks, penicillin and the retractable seat belt

At least half of your neighbours were born before 1950

You can leave work at 5:15 and miss 'peak hour traffic'

Your definition of 'peak hour' traffic is more than 5 cars at a red light

You're always running late because the public transport system is so old

You know and love the sound the ticket machine makes on public transport

You feel like punching the next person who calls it the City of Churches

You walk past at least 5 churches on your way to work

Seeing a large, Aboriginal man walking around town in a leotard and gum boots in the middle of winter does not surprise you

You know his name is Johnny

You know who Stormy Summers is

You think the 'Tiser has no journalistic integrity whatsoever.... And yet you still read it every day.

You remember John Martin's

You've been on the Pop-Eye

You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.

You know where beehive corner is

You hate the new tram

You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.

You've used the term 'minda' as an insult

A pale/palie is a Coopers Pale Ale

You've saved up your bottles and cans from a big night out, collected the 5c deposit and then used it to buy more beer

You know what a 'stobie pole' is

You say 'heaps good'

One of the first questions you ask a person is where they went to school

You have the same friends from high school

You don't like Victorians

They stole our Grand Prix

Your dads best friend friends next door neighbour knows some one in the Hells Angels that can get stuff.

You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.

You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.

You understood and laughed at this list

You live in South Australia

And you'll probably die here too

I have definitely been here too long. I had to say yes to a lot of these.

I am willing to answer questions in comments for slabs of paleys.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sex for Sex Sake

It's October 20th at 10.30 pm and it's time for sex. Only about a 70 days to go until we can stop. Would you be up for it?

This looks like NaBloPoMo for jaded marriages.

Let's say you and your spouse haven't had sex for so long that you can't remember the last time you did. Not the day. Not the month. Maybe not even the season. Would you look for gratification elsewhere? Would you file for divorce? Or would you turn to your mate and say: "Honey, you know, I've been thinking. Why don't we do it for the next 365 days in a row?"

Based on my own experience posting every day for the sake of it was really boring and made for a lot of dull blog posts.

Do you think having sex for sex sake for a year would revitalise a jaded marriage? It is bad enough with all the other "responsibilities and duties" that we have in life. That and documenting it and publishing it. Is that narcissistic or nutty? Or both?

Call me boring, but I think I would rather paint the ceiling.

Wouldn't Want to be a Hummer Salesman

As I walked from my car yesterday morning I passed a very new Hummer parked by the side of the road near my office. The owner was walking out to get in. I felt like going up to him and asking him whether he was mad. (Scroll down through the evaluation of the bank ads to the Chevy Anti Ads). I wonder if that would have been justified moral kerb rage?

Hummers are more visible in Adelaide in the last six months, having hardly seen any in my first six years here. What a time to introduce the brand here in Australia. They are visible as limousines and Hummer sponsor the professional basketball league. Your reward for being professional basketball player of the year is a free Hummer. Probably good for leg room, but I wonder if they throw in a years free petrol, which would probably be worth more than the car? The model you see here is the Hummer Lite whatever it is called, but the limousines are pretty large.

All this as the American love affair with the SUV collapses.

When I was living in America I had a Ford Explorer for about a year when we lived in California. It seemed alright at that time, with petrol at about $1.50 a gallon. I mean it was my right and it seemed vaguely sensible at the time. It was fun and it took me to some fun places. What it also did, was to empty its tank very quickly. It didn't seem so large when I lived there. Everything is large in America? Actually when I was buying it, the other part of the car yard sold Hummers. I sat in one and I think the very slick sales person told me that they got around 5 miles to the gallon.

I also toyed with the idea of an F150, until recently Americas top selling vehicle, overtaken by those bastion of tough guy transportation the Civic and the Camry, ten years earlier when my trusty Saab blew up. I made the sensible decision, saving my marriage at the same time, when I bought a small station wagon. My wife was in some exotic location for work for a month and I am quite sure that she would have killed me if I had made the emotional decision to buy a truck in her absence. I still like the idea of a large truck, just not the community revulsion and the petrol bill.

Living here in Australia, they seem larger by comparison and with the price of petrol here would have to be an element of financial hari kiri and community revulsion to be seen driving one of those at the moment. There is already a strong negative opinion about Toorak Tractor drivers running the kids to school.

This weeks big whine by Australians is about the high price of petrol,which hovers around $1.60 a litre at the moment. Seventy eight percent of Australians surveyed in a political poll looking for politicians to fix the price of petrol. This unrealistic political anger is part of a very public backlash against the previously somewhat flawless Rudd Government, who during the election campaign had raised community expectations that they could do something about petrol prices and grocery prices, which clearly they cannot.

It is also part of this cultural shift in what we chose to drive, how much we chose to drive and a much needed public discussion like we are seeing in South Australia on public transport investment. The state treasurer announced a long term much needed and quite substantial public investment in transportation with the electrification of the existing diesel network, the extension of the tram and train network to new destinations and other investments. That is a big political call in this not so huge spread out, car loving urban area that is Adelaide.

It signals a big shift that has been a long time coming and a short time getting started thanks to big kick up the back side from Opec and their buddies in the oil supply business.

Of course if I wanted to be patriotic, I could always get a Ute mate. Think of all the chicks I could pull.
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Monday, June 16, 2008

Pop Pyscho-ology

Some of these are true.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
Procrastinate Now!
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Watch out for the Coconuts

They would likely kill you if you hung around for long enough in Mildaren, South Australia.

When I lived in Singapore we used to go walking and cycling along East Coast Park and they had much shorter palms with Beware of Falling Coconuts Signs. That was not so unusual in safety conscious Singapore. I never heard of anyone being killed by an unfortunate gravity assisted coconut attack. Being hit by lightning was much more common.
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Non Merci


Mon nom est Moïse Touré et je suis de nationalité Ivoirienne. Je
vous écris cette lettre d'Abidjan où j'ai trouvé refuge après la guerre
brutale et le meurtre de mes parents par les rebelles pendant les combats
qui ont repris à Bouaké au centre de la Côte d'Ivoire.

À cause de la guerre mon défunt père a vendu ses société (des Station
services et une Société de transport de poids lourds et d'engins) et a
fait un dépôt de NEUF MILLIONS CINQ CENT MILLE Dollars Américains dans une
banque ici à Abidjan la capitale de la Côte-d'Ivoire.

En raison des clauses de dépôt des dits fonds que mon père a passé avec la
banque, je demande votre aide pour m'aider à transférer cet argent dans
votre pays et aussi pour me permettre de venir poursuivre mes études et
mon éducation dans votre pays.

Je suis disposé à vous offrir un bon pourcentage (20%) de toute la somme
en compensation de vos efforts pour m'aider après le transfert des fonds
dans votre compte bancaire. Tout en espérant que vous ne me trahirez pas
quand l'argent sera transféré dans votre compte bancaire.

En outre, si vous acceptez de m'aider ce que je souhaite ardemment, cette
transaction sera conclue en moins de 72 heures (3 jours).

J'attends votre réponse rapidement.

Sincères salutations,

Moïse Touré.

Spam Francais??? Sounds like a cheap meal.

I also recently had my first chinese spam and my first japanese spam comment. Teh internet it is such a global phenom. I am honored that all those people from other places are interested in me.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Spotty Vaccuum Cleaner Attack Dog

Now I know why Spotty hates the vaccuum cleaner.

A street-sweeping truck roaring down a New York city street, sucked up a dog and killed it as its owner held the leash.

Robert Machin said he had just finished walking his two Boston terriers and was about to put them into his car when the truck appeared on Thursday morning in the Bronx.

The retired transit worker said he was suddenly whipped around and saw one of the dogs, Ginger, being swallowed by the sweeper's round bristles.

Dogs definitely have sixth sense. Spotty knows instantaneously when I am about to leave the house and is always keen to put his paw up to go along. He shadows me like a bad smell until the decision is made.

He has always hated the vaccuum cleaner and attacks it at every opportunity if we don't kick him out of the house while the machine of terror is doing its job.

We are lucky because we always walk him at our local park where we can reach without going more than 20 metres on the road, other parks that we drive too and the beach.

But death by road sweeper. That has to be about your worst nightmare as a pet owner .

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Photo Hunt: Emotions

Bored at Ikea

Being silly at School

Being happy on the computer

Being cute for the camera

Being silly for the Camera

Gone mad as a Parent

Family Life is full of emotions. That is what makes us humans. Sometimes it is hard to verbalise, but you can usually tell by looking at photographs how people were feeling.

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