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Monday, February 04, 2008

Och Aye it's gettin' a wee bit cauld

Hardy Scots...

50°F
People in Southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

40°F
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35°F
Cars in the South of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20°F
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15°F
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

0°F
Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-10°F
Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80°F
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100°F
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

-173°F
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-297°F
Microbial life starts to disappear
The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

-460°F
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-500°F
Hell freezes over
Scotland will support England in the World Cup

My mum reckons that 30 degrees C is an absolute heatwave. My Australian family reckon that is when the weather starts to get tolerable. I am open to both extremes. I just struggle to find some cold weather gear when it dips below 20 degrees here in Adelaide.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

30 degrees is a heatwave to me too. 20 degrees is a hot day to me, to be honest ;)

I loved that, especially the hell freezes over bit!

Descartes said...

Great stuff.
In my part of Texas it drops to about 20 degrees once a year-it's going to be 80 degrees today. Cold, what exactly is this cold your talking about?

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