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Monday, January 14, 2008

Why Men Are Never Depressed



Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife .
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

5 comments:

jmb said...

You got this right. Perfect.

Liz Hinds said...

Oh that staring at the chest thing is so annoying!

Colin Campbell said...

My wife still gives me grief for that. I just can't help it. Boob man she calls me.

Pickledeel said...

That is all true (and humorous) and on the mark and yet, depression is such a big killer of men - either as a catalyst for men taking their own lives or undermining their health. There is merit in having phone calls over in 30sec but there is weakness that too - we need to do what you girls do so much better than us blokes and talk more. But unburdoning is not a blokey thing to do. We all wait to see if depression was a contributing factor in Heath's death.

Oops, all very serious for a first visit. Nice blog title - green porridge in my experience was always EXCELLENT fodder.

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